The Desk From Hell

The ol' desk at work. Going left to right, starting with the top shelf, we have:

• the obligatory manuals and magazines that have little, if anything to do with my job. The purple box is some Windows software to manage access into certain areas of our office. I don't even have a Windows system, nor do I use one.
• A painting of the Piazza San Pietro in Italy. My partner Chuck got it for me when he went to Europe last month.
• In front of that is Bruce, my stuffed piranha. The same Chuck got that for me from Bazil when we went there last year.
• The sign is one of those with the movable letters. What it says is:

  QUESTIONS ANSWERED
  PLEASE CLOCK IN
  
  1 MINUTE	 $5
  2	 	 15
  3		 30
  4		 60
  5		100
  
  1 MINUTE MINIMUM
    ADDITIONAL
      $80 PER MINUTE	
  

  I'm not exactly cheap.

• And next to that is a timeclock, not currently plugged in. I would plug it in, but my fellow cow-orkers unplug it. It makes this annoying KA-CHUNK sound every minute.
• Hanging on the right cube wall is a foam weapon from the movie Blade that a friend (not Chuck) got for me.
• Hanging from the shelf is an action figure from the movie Spawn. I can't remember the guys name, but he was hanging around when we moved into the office and he's followed me around since.

On the desk, going left to right:

• Pencil sharpener with three pencils.
• Styrofoam cup.
• Workstation, which consists of a 21″ monitor, an IBM keyboard, Logitech trackball and underneath the monitor, an HDS ViewStation, which is an X-terminal.
• A pencil, sharped in said pencil sharpener.
• Hub, which the X-terminal and my personal web server (which is under the desk and not in the picture) are plugged into. The small white box on top is the actual network and phone connection. Notice that I do not have a phone.

Yes, there is an explanation for all the Post-It™ notes. I had a note with “NOT Sean's Monitor” written on it, stuck to the upper shelf. Then someone stole my chair (there seemed to be a rash of chair theft at the office recently) so when I retrieved it, I stuck a note on it saying “Sean's Chair.” As a joke, some of my fellow cow-orkers stuck Post-It™ notes over everything (“Sean's Monitor,” “Sean's Phish,” “Sean's Hub” and so forth) including me.